No longer I, but Christ.
Testimony by Atul-Kuruvilla Abraham
Life before I got saved
Before I got saved, my life was marked by significant challenges and struggles. I lost my father at the age of 11, which left my family in a big crisis on all fronts and as a result grew up in an environment filled with insecurities, fears, and personal struggles with sinful habits. Health issues during childhood and academic difficulties added to my burdens. Additionally, I faced severe anxiety and a sleep disorder during your college years, along with certain sinful addictions. This period of my life was one of confusion, fear, and turmoil.
Sincere desire to turn-a-new-leaf
Yet I had the deep and sincere desire to change my bad ways, be a transformed person and be successful in my studies and other areas of my life. I tried in my own efforts to exercise discipline and self control also heeding the best advice and practices of conventional wisdom, but repeatedly found myself gravitating back to same sinful state without any success.
My exposure to the Gospel Message
The first time I heard the gospel was during my childhood, primarily through my grandmother, who was a believer. Despite being part of a traditional Syrian Jacobite Church, my grandmother taught me and my cousins to pray personal prayers, read the Bible, engage with spiritual resources like the Daily Bread and shew as also instrumental in organising bible studies and meetings lead by preachers from other evangelical circles outside our traditional circles. . This exposure gave me an early understanding of God’s word, although it was not common in our church setting.
A more significant moment came when I was 12 years old. My grandmother organized a Bible study on the book of Revelation during a summer holiday. It was here that I first fully encountered the gospel message, especially in the context of Christ's second coming and the millennial reign. The teaching had a profound impact on me and my cousins, filling me with awe and wonder. Almost all of us, including myself, surrendered our lives to Christ during that time.
My initial reaction was one of reverence and amazement at the truth of God’s word. However, this commitment was short-lived as life returned to normal once I resumed my school routine, and the intensity of that spiritual experience faded.
Change in perspective during College Days - Led to Salvation Experience and Full Surrender to obey Jesus.
However God was not done with me yet - my search for peace and comfort from God became more of a necessity for me during my engineering college years. This shift occurred as I faced severe anxiety, sleep disorders, and struggles with sinful habits. During this challenging time, I sought solace in reading the Bible and other Christian literature, mostly self directed - rather than guided by any spiritual figure or guide. This deepened my understanding and dependance on Jesus, and I was drawn to the joy and hope that born-again believers (I came in contact with) exhibited. God in His providence send quite a number of believers my way during this crisis phase - whose encouragement really help me in my faith walk during and kept me going.
I finally accepted Jesus because I reached a point where you were deeply convicted of your sins and recognized your need for His saving grace. During my final year of college, I received extensive Bible teaching from a local Bible-believing church, which made me realize the depth of my sinful state and the great love of God in sending Jesus to die for your sins.
The transformative impact of the gospel, combined with the peace and joy you saw in the lives of born-again believers, drew you closer to Christ. I began to understand that salvation was a free gift through Jesus Christ, not something I could earn through my efforts. The teachings clarified that Jesus' death and resurrection offered you forgiveness, redemption, and eternal life.
Despite my struggles, including the fear of being ostracized by your family and friends, my conviction of the truth of the gospel outweighed these concerns. I recognized that Jesus is God almighty who took on flesh and came down to earth as a man, to save humanity (through his atoning death on the cross) and give eternal life to all those who believe in Him and only through Jesus could I find true peace, purpose, and freedom from the burden of sin. This realization led me to fully surrender to Him, and in April 2002, I was baptized as a public declaration of my faith.
Romans 6:23:
"For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Ephesians 2:8-9:
"For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.
John 1:12
"But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name,"
John 3:16
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.
Colossians 1:27
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life."
Christian Journey From College till Now
As a new believer my faith journey had many challenging turns and twists - I was pretty much alone from my family to have taken this path of faith, so I was mostly navigating my Christian walk and struggles in a self directed fashion rather than led by an elderly figure. I hopped many churches in the christendom and had many doctrinal confusions and even backslidings, disappointments and faith crisis along the way.
From 2002 till now - the common thread that kept me going is fully the faithfulness of God and continuing the work He started in my. In the year 2012 me and my wife started attending Bethel Baptist Church in Bangalore, India and we eventually became members there in 2016 and had been steadily growing in the knowledge and grace of God.
Even as how the saving grace of God was made evident to me by God during the time I got saved, my prayer each day is that I may grow more and more in the knowledge and understanding of Christ Jesus, His deity, His godhead and His life changing power be evident in my life each day.
A pivotal verse in my faith journey has been:
Gal. 2:20
"I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but it is Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."
A life song and prayer going forward can be summed up in this song. Amen!
Shepherd of my soul I give You full control
Wherever You may lead I will follow
I have made the choice to listen for Your voice
Wherever You may lead I will go
Be it in a quiet pasture or by a gentle stream
The shepherd of my soul is by my side
Should I face a mighty mountain or a valley dark and deep
The shepherd of my soul will be my guide