No longer I, but Christ.
Testimony by Atul-Kuruvilla Abraham
My life before I got saved
I was blessed to have been born and raised in a loving and caring family based in Kerala, India (Kallissery). That said, it was not always a smooth journey. I faced quite a lot of setbacks early on in my childhood - I lost my father at the age of 11, which left my family in a big crisis on lot of fronts and as a result grew up in an environment filled with insecurities, fears, and personal struggles with sinful habits that I succumbed to. Falling sick during my childhood was a common affair and the mounting academic difficulties added to my burdens. Additionally, I faced severe anxiety and a sleep disorder during my college years. This period of my life was one of confusion, fear, and turmoil
Sincere desire to turn-a-new-leaf
I sincerely desired and strived to change my bad ways, be a transformed person and be successful in my studies and other areas of my life. I tried in my own efforts to exercise discipline and self control also heeding the best advice and practices of all practical wisdom I had exposure to at that point in time of my life, but repeatedly found myself gravitating back to same sinful state without any success whatsoever.
My exposure to the Gospel Message
In the midst of the many challenges to turn-a-new-leaf - the silver-lining has been the family and household I was raised in. The first time I heard the gospel was during my childhood, primarily through my grandmother, who was a believer. Despite being part of a traditional Syrian Jacobite Church, my grandmother taught me and my cousins to pray personal prayers, read the Bible, engage with spiritual resources like the Daily Bread and she was also instrumental in organising bible studies and meetings lead by preachers from other evangelical circles outside our traditional circles. This exposure gave me an early understanding of God’s word, although it was not common in our church setting.
A more significant moment came when I was 12 years old. My grandmother organized a Bible study on the book of Revelation during a summer holiday. It was here that I first fully encountered the gospel message, especially in the context of Christ's second coming and the millennial reign. The teaching had a profound impact on me and my cousins, filling me with awe and wonder. Almost all of us, including myself, surrendered our lives to Christ during that time.
My initial reaction was one of reverence and amazement at the truth of God’s word. However, this commitment was short-lived as life returned to normal once I resumed my school routine, and the intensity of that spiritual experience faded.
Change in perspective during College Days -
Led to Salvation Experience and Full Surrender to obey Jesus.
However God was not done with me yet - my search for peace and comfort from God became more of a necessity for me during my engineering college years. This shift occurred as I faced severe anxiety, sleep disorders, and struggles with sinful habits. During this challenging time, I sought solace in reading the Bible and other Christian literature. This period deepened my understanding and dependance on Jesus, and I was drawn to the joy and hope that born-again believers (I came in contact with) exhibited. God in His providence send quite a number of believers my way during this crisis phase - whose encouragement really help me in my faith walk and kept me going during this phase.
I finally accepted Jesus as I reached a point where I was deeply convicted of my sins and recognized my need for His saving grace. During my final year of college, I received extensive Bible teaching from a local Bible-believing church, which made me realize the depth of my sinful state and the great love of God in sending Jesus to die for my sins.
The transformative impact of the gospel, combined with the peace and joy I saw in the lives of born-again believers, drew me closer to Christ. I began to understand that salvation was a free gift through Jesus Christ, not something I could earn through my efforts. The teachings clarified that Jesus' death and resurrection offered me forgiveness, redemption, and eternal life.
Despite my struggles, including the fear of being ostracized by my family and friends, my conviction of the truth of the gospel outweighed these concerns. I recognized that Jesus is God almighty who took on flesh and came down to earth as a man, to save humanity (through his atoning death on the cross) giving eternal life to all those who believe in Him and only through Jesus could I find true peace, purpose, and freedom from the burden of sin. I experienced the same peace, joy and purpose when I wholly put my trust and faith in Jesus for my salvation. This realization led me to fully surrender to Him, and in April 2002, I was baptized as a public declaration of my faith.
Few Scripture verses that became foundational to my faith:
Romans 6:23: "For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Ephesians 2:8-9: "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.
John 1:12 "But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name,"
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life."
Colossians 1:27 “To them God chose to make known how great among the Gentiles are the riches of the glory of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory."
Romans 8:1-2 "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death."
2 Peter 1:3 "for His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and [b]excellence."
Romans 1:16-17 "16For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek. 17For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith for faith,e as it is written, “The righteous shall live by faith.""
Christian Journey From College days till Now
As a new believer my faith journey had many challenging turns and twists - I was pretty much alone from my family to have taken this path of faith, so I was mostly navigating my Christian walk and struggles in a self directed fashion rather than led by an elderly figure or spiritual guide (which I feel would have been very much beneficial than having to navigate on my own). I got exposed to many churches in the christendom and had many foundational confusions and even backslidings, disappointments and faith crisis along the way.
However from 2002 till now - the common thread that kept me going can be fully attributed to the faithfulness of God in continuing the work He started in me. In the year 2012 me and my wife started attending Bethel Baptist Church in Bangalore, India and we eventually became members there in 2016 and had been steadily growing in the knowledge and grace of God.
Even as how the saving grace of God was made evident in my life during the time I got saved, my prayer each day is that I may grow more and more in the understanding and appreciation of my God and Saviour Christ Jesus, His deity, His godhead and His life changing power conforming me to His likeness more and more each day.
A pivotal verse in my faith journey has been:
Galatians. 2:20
"I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but it is Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."
Following is a life song and prayer of my heart going forward. Amen!
Shepherd of my soul I give You full control
Wherever You may lead I will follow
I have made the choice to listen for Your voice
Wherever You may lead I will go
Be it in a quiet pasture or by a gentle stream
The shepherd of my soul is by my side
Should I face a mighty mountain or a valley dark and deep
The shepherd of my soul will be my guide